Archive for weather

Its The End Of The World

Posted in Disaster with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2011 by Suge White

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In case you haven’t noticed, 2012 is bearing down on us like an out of control station wagon with a coked-up James Brown behind the wheel.  We are all watching as massive earthquakes, tsunamis, and hurricanes rock our tranquility.  All the while, Charlie Sheen is running around like some half assed anti-christ trying to corrupt our youthful exuberance.  Seriously people, we need to put down the crack pipes and pick up the shovels. We should be building bomb shelters… or space ships… or some really cool kind of oven that runs on the decaying remnants of our hopes and dreams.  The bottom line is that we should be preparing for our Armageddon.  And even if we can’t save our selves, we should at least be trying to live it up while we are still here.  With that being said, go out and try some new things.  I’ve never helped an old lady cross a street with her groceries, so guess what is first on my list of things to do? If you guessed ‘helping an old lady cross the street’, you are an idiot for thinking I’m going to waste my final days helping out those that have lived much more life than I will ever see.  Sorry, grandma but I’m going to steal your groceries and pawn them off to buy some heroin.  I’ve never done heroin before, nor have I ever wanted to, but hell, the world is going to end and I’m interested to see what all the hype is about.  I’ll have a needle in my arm, a crack pipe in my mouth (which I picked up after accepting my impending doom), and a dirty chick on the end of my dick.  No more caring and no more thoughts.  All that will be left is black tar and hideous lower back tattoos.  Get like me and accept the inevitable.

Wintery Retards

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2011 by Suge White

Well, I live in a land that is currently buried up to Shaquille O’Neil’s nipples in snow.  However, that does not give anyone, even me, the right to complain.  We choose to live here…. and I say this assuming that no infants, domesticated animals, slaves, or Russian spies follow my incoherent ramblings. So now that you all know that we shouldn’t be complaining, STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING! So what if it takes you an extra hour to get to work? Fucking suck it up, get up up early, dig your God damn car out the snow, and slip-and-slide your ass to work. I’ve lived in Massachusetts for 27 years, I am well aware that it gets cold in the winter and that occasionally some sort of slick white stuff falls from the sky.  I’ve learned to deal with it and to take those opportunities to make cheap shot jokes at the likes of Darryl Strawberry and Charlie Sheen. And if your not the type to ridicule others for their excessively publicized indiscretions, just keep your mouth shut and carry on. Don’t give me this ‘I can’t believe how slick these roads are’ horse shit. If you honestly can’t believe this is happening, you are a retard.

Snowball Fights

Posted in Fucked Up People with tags , , , on January 12, 2011 by Suge White

When I look out the window and see 2 feet of snow, all I want to do is whip some balls at people. Granted, I may be a little old for this type of behavior but I was always encouraged to remain young at heart. It wouldn’t even be a stretch for me to jump on some old ladies back, throw her to the ground, and give her a white-wash. Hey, its all in good fun. Maybe I’ll make a really short snow man, piss all over him, and call him an Asian. Let it snow!