Across State Lines

Today I bring you the 70th edition of ‘Who Wants To Be a Creepy Internet Blogger?’. I will discuss my recent trips to Philadelphia and New York, as well as, some other necessary topics. I shall start with Philly. You suck! No, I’m serious. You really suck. I’m trying not to lump all Pennsylvanians together here, because I know some genuinely awesome people from PA (Ok, maybe just know 1 or 2, 3 at the most), but Philly is terrible. Sure, its got history but that’s about it. And don’t even fucking say that they have cheese steaks because I had their cheese steaks and was not impressed.  I got half way through my second sandwich in the Geno’s vs. Pat’s cheese steak challenge when I thought to myself, “These aren’t nearly as good as everyone made them out to be”.  Seriously, a retard in a high school Home Economics class could make a better sandwich, or at least one that is equally unappealing.  All you need is a box of Steak Ums and some nacho cheese and in the words of Emeril Lagasse “BOOM!”, you have a cheese steak.  And that my friends, is nothing to write home about.  Next stop, New York City.  Somehow I’ve managed to go 26 years without stepping foot in the city but it was worth the wait.  It was fucking amazing, especially after my uneventful trip to Philly.  Usually I don’t like people, let alone large groups of them, congregating on every corner of the horizon.  However, New York had so many people, I felt alone… until I told that girl waiting in the bathroom line at the Union Square Starbucks that the toilet was now out-of-order, as I was walking out, adjusting my belt buckle.  surprisingly, the girl laughed at my lame ass brand of toilet humor.  What an amazing world we live in.  It’s as if the city was made to be one giant natural hallucination.  The one thing that my trip to New York left me thinking was, “No wonder they call it the city that never sleeps.  How could you with all those fucking lights?”      

Here are some ridiculous pictures of the Goons and myself gallivanting across state lines.

Bill Burr somes up the people of Philly right here… trust me, watch the whole thing.  its awesome


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