Stop Being Loud

huge_90_454781I’ve officially had it with alarm clocks… and power tools… and homeless people pushing shopping carts.  I don’t like being woken up at 8:00 A.M. Saturday morning when I don’t have shit to do.  When it’s by someone else’s unnecessarily annoying alarm clock, I get pretty mad but I will tend to let it slide.  Shit, I like my roommates and I know that I’ve probably done the same to them once or twice.  It’s twice as bad when the landlord wants to trim the hedges at 7:30 before he goes to work.  Seriously, next time this happens I’m going to buy a stuffed moose head,  not clean it for a month, and throw it out my second floor window onto the head of the offending landscaper.  My landlord is cool shit but I will not think twice about impaling him with a dusty moose head for waking me up before I’m ready.  Believe it or not, it gets worse.  Homeless people and their god damn shopping carts… and by their shopping carts I mean Price Choppers shopping carts that they stole and filled up with other peoples trash.  Seriously, I have no problem with you rummaging through my dumpster, as long as your not waking me up in the process.  I own a bed and I much enjoy sleeping in it… please don’t ruin that for me.  Just because you are jealous of my living arrangements doesn’t make it acceptable for you to be tossing bottles out of my dumpster into your stolen shopping cart so damn early in the morning.  That shit is loud as hell.  Fuck the moose head, I’m going to throw a trash bag filled with empty cans of Hawaiian Punch out the window.  The bums will get so excited, until they realize that the cans are non-redeemable.

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One Response to “Stop Being Loud”

  1. I had a funny experience with the bum with all the cans in his shopping cart around 600 a.m. sat/sun morning about a year ago on highland st. them dudes be wilding for those cans.

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