What Am I Doing Here?

The-Meaning-of-Life-Wendy-Puerto-255558I always wonder what my purpose is.  Is there something that I’m supposed to do with my life?  Why am I here?  I’ve put a lot of thought into it and I’ve come up with 10 things that I’m supposed to do with my life.

1.  Avoid, at all cost, people with the first name Russell… Need I say more

2.  Blame everything on the other guy… Except for that one thing.  That was TOTALLY my fault

3.  Not be addicted to meth… Unless I’ve already lost my teeth due to natural causes, in which case, why not?

4.  Preach the importance of saran wrap… Cars, toilets, an unsuspecting baby.  Name something that can’t be saran wrapped

5.  Slap the creator of Dance Dance Revolution in the face… Then I will slap his mother for birthing him

6.  Ridicule The Saint (Local Goon) for utilizing inferior chewing tobacco products… Step your chaw game up

7.  Help make gallivanting an official Olympic sport… To travel, roam, or move about for pleasure.  Sounds like a sport to me

8.  Convince the masses that the state of Wyoming doesn’t really exist… Have you ever been there or know someone who has?  I didn’t think so

9.  Ask people if they want to see the fountain of youth… As I unzip my pants, while most likely drunk

10.  Defend, to the death, the integrity and honor of Keystone Light

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