Money… Who Needs it?

Rich%20WealthyDoesn’t everyone want to hit the lottery?  I know I do.  Who the fuck wants to work the rest of their lives?  Maybe this makes us inherently lazy but who am I to say?  However, the more I think about it, the less I think this would be beneficial to my well being.  Think of all the bad shit that could happen as a result.  Showering would be out of the question because who do you need to impress when you have that much money?  This would also cause me to grow dreadlocks because of the lack of maintenance.  I am white so dreadlocks would definitely be bad.   I would also be much more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases.  Who would go out looking for love when you can just buy sex?  Not to mention, normal women will never do the types of things that a prostitute would let you pay her to do.  I would never use protection because what’s the worst thing that can happen?  If Magic Johnson can pay to cure HIV, so can I.  Matter of fact, I would just purchase my own prostitutes.  I would pay them well but force them to freelance on their own time to pay for rent and support the children that I will undoubtedly plant in them and then refuse to take responsibility for.   There would be no more masturbation either.  If I couldn’t find a hooker, I would just find a crazy scientist to clone me and then get the clone to jerk me off while I ate a bacon cheeseburger and played with my newly purchased Nintendo Wii.  I would also force the scientist to film it so I can then take the film and sell it at local flee markets for a profit.  By the way, would having your clone jerk you off be considered gay?  I don’t think so, as long as he doesn’t look me in the eye.  I’m not talking about fucking my clone or making him blow me because that would be totally different and very gay.  Back to the topic at hand.   I would end up spending way more money at the bar and then be more willing to drive home fucking hammered.  Who cares about losing their license when you can just pay someone to drive you around?  I doubt a cop would even arrest me, especially after I offered him $10,000 to let me go.  I would them offer him another $100,000 to let me take his handgun and molest a midget with it  Don’t worry… I would at least buy the midget dinner first.  The environment would take a major hit due to my fortune.  I would own a private jet just to fly back and fourth to the Middle East to watch public executions because, lets face it, you can’t see that shit over here.  I would own a bunch of houses and leave the T.V.’s and air conditioners in them on, at all times.  In the end,  I would kill myself on a motorcycle because I have no idea how to ride one, but hell, I’m rich and I would probably own like 6 of them.  Did I mention that Europe’s ‘Final Countdown’ will be playing, for all of this, on the nicest portable CD player money can buy?

2 Responses to “Money… Who Needs it?”

  1. lol you done smoked yourself retarded

    • Suge White Says:

      I agree but now that I don’t smoke I think that I’m am just special… like ride the little bus to school special.

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