Stop Fucking With Animals

In_Snake_Charmer_3515I think it’s time that we stop messing with wild animals.  For example, Malaysia’s ‘Snake King’ was killed by a snake bite a few years ago.   They called this man the fucking Snake King.  What did his death prove?  It proved that he was as much a king of snakes as Idi Amin was a king of Scotland, and that is not at all.  If a snake charmer is bit by a cobra and dies, it’s not a tragedy.  It’s justified.  The snake was probably sick of dancing.  Not to mention, that music they play sucks and the cobra might have been expressing his displeasure with that particular piece.  Look at the Grizzly Man, Timothy Treadwell.  This guy lived among coastal grizzly bears in Alaska during summer seasons for 13 years.  He wanted to prove that the bears were not aggressive towards humans.  What happened to him?  In the 13th year, he got eaten by fucking bears.  Treadwell decided to bring his girlfriend on his last trip.  This guy actually convinced his girlfriend, who was terrified of bears, that she would be safe with him.  She too, got eaten by bears.   He should have used his persuasive skills to convince his girl to take part in a 3-some, or let him put it in her ass.  But no, he convinced her to come live with some bears and they both got eaten because of it.  More recently, we have had stories of chimps mauling people and tearing off their junk, which I covered in my Man vs. Beast post.  We have taught apes to smoke cigarettes and drink wine.  Apparently, somewhere along the way, someone also taught them that men are susceptible to groin shots.  I will say that no one deserves to be mauled by an ape.  I always thought they were friendly towards people… I guess not.  We just need to nip these things in the bud now.  Please, leave the animals alone.

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